The talk I gave at church

The Joys of Teaching Children the Gospel

This is obviously a really relevant topic to me, as I am a young mother and I was recently released from serving in the Primary Presidency.  One of my favorite things about that calling was teaching sharing time.  This meant teaching a group of 15-30 children of varying ages.  I enjoyed the challenge and the sweet spirits of the children.  They probably taught me more than I taught them.  I was impressed with what they did know (just ask Levi Rubow about the 10 commandments sometime! He started spouting them off when prompted!) and how fast and willingly they learned the truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  There were plenty of volunteers for every question asked, even if the answer was a little off topic (One day Abby (who is a sweet 4 year old girl with the cutest smile) gave the answer “flowers” every time she raised her hand.)  I served in primary for 3 & ½ years, and I know there are a few teachers still in there who started before I did- so watch out if the Bishop calls you into his office J.  Kidding aside, serving in primary was one of the most fulfilling callings I’ve had so far.

One resource that helped me-and would help anyone in a teaching calling- and even parents, is Teaching No Greater Call.  It has sections for everyone - teaching in the home, at church, for different age groups, etc.  One thing that stuck out to me, since the day I read it is ‘how to look for lessons everywhere’ (yes, that’s a section in the book! It’s on page 22 if you want to go back and read it.)  I had been praying for ways to include gospel subjects in our everyday lives.  (I can’t see myself driving in the car saying ‘so kids, remember at general conference…?’)  But I knew that as a mother (same is true for fathers) it is my responsibility (and pleasure!) of teaching my children gospel principles.  So, in answer to my prayer, I stumbled upon this section.  It starts out with a story about a stake president working in his flower garden, pondering his topic for an upcoming stake conference-strengthening families.  His neighbor came out & they started talking flowers.  He asked her secret for her beautiful garden.  She said “I stay close to the garden.  I go into my garden every day, even when it isn’t convenient.  And while I’m out here, I look for little signs of possible problems.  Things like weeds and insects and soil conditions that are simple to correct if caught in time, but that can become overwhelming if left unchecked.”  This was a great analogy for the stake president’s talk.  “He observed: we need to spend time with family members every day, talk with them, express appreciation for them and look for little signs of potential problem that can be resolved before they become overwhelming.”  Another quote from the section that stuck out to me is “(Our) children are growing up and (we) should not waste the few years (we) have with them.”  I can’t believe Christopher will be 8 in a few short months.  I really need to not waste these years!  This task seems daunting - will I remember to make these connections with my kids? But, I’ve come to realize that as with everything, the more I do it, the easier it is.  When I first started teaching primary I was soo nervous each time before I taught.  But then I got used to it.  It was easier & I didn’t get nervous.  The same is true for bearing our testimonies.  It became easier in primary, but speaking here makes me nervous, I guess I need more practice-(that was a joke, Bishop!)

Ok, back to teaching in the home.  Elder Quentin L. Cook said in his talk “Can Ye Feel So Now?” in the October general conference: “Parents, the days are long past when regular, active participation in Church meetings and programs, though essential, can fulfill your sacred responsibility to teach your children to live moral, righteous lives and walk  uprightly before the Lord.  With President Monson’s announcement this morning (the change of age for missionaries), it is essential that this be faithfully accomplished in homes which are places of refuge where kindness, forgiveness, truth, and righteousness prevail.  Parents must have the courage to filter or monitor Internet access, television, movies, and music.  Parents must have the courage to say NO, defend truth, and bear powerful testimony.  Your children need to know that you have FAITH in the Savior, LOVE your Heavenly Father, and sustain the leaders of the Church.  Spiritual maturity must flourish in our homes.  My hope is that no one will leave this conference without understanding that the moral issues of our day MUST be addressed in the family.”

We are all in different stages of life.  Our kids, or those who we have some influence over, whether it be neighborly or as their teacher, are different ages.  They have different needs and challenges.  As I pray daily for patience, the answer comes to me “Love.”  The little things don’t matter as much.  But what’s important is that I show them love.  They need to know that I love them unconditionally.  And they need to know that their Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ love them.  They will feel this through my love and example. (Now don’t go thinking I’m perfect! Cuz I’m not.  I often find myself yelling at my kids, so it’s something I’m working on.)

What do you know, I read about that very topic in the most recent conference addition of the ensign in a talk by Elder Anthony D. Perkins called ‘Beware Concerning Yourselves”  He said, “Showing genuine love is at the heart of personal conversion and family relations…Never forget that Satan is the “father of contention” and seeks that family members “fight and quarrel.”

Elder L. Tom Perry spells out how we can ‘create a stronger family culture’ in his talk entitled “Becoming Goodly Parents” in October general conference.

First: “parents can pray in earnest, asking our Eternal Father to help them love, understand, and guide the children He has sent to them.”  They are after all, God’s children.  He knows them best.  You know how people say ‘kids don’t come with an instruction manual,’ well, it’s just not written down.  We need to pray for guidance.

Second: “(Parents) can hold family prayer, scripture study, and family home evenings and eat together as often as possible, making dinner a time of communication and the teaching of values.”  This is something I need to work on.  Usually I’m like “be quiet, eat your food, don’t complain.”  I took a class by LaDawn Jacobs in college & she talked about how they had placemats with cool stuff to talk about during meals.  It’s hard enough getting food on the table at a decent hour- I can’t imagine having to come up with the dinner conversation too.  Maybe it’s as simple as having each person share something they enjoyed about their day. 

Pres. Eyring talked about this in his talk “Help Them Aim High” in priesthood session of October conference “Your habits of family prayer and scripture reading will create more lasting memories and greater changes of heart than you may realize now.  Even apparently temporal activities, such as attending an athletic event or watching a movie, can shape a child’s heart.  What matters is not the activity but the feelings that come as you do it. I have discovered a good test for identifying activites with the potential to make a great difference in a young person’s life.  It is that they suggest the activity out of an interest they feel has come to them as a gift from God.  I know that is possible from my own experience.”   So, again, we know our kids (or pupils), Heavenly Father knows our kids.  So, when we feel stuck in knowing how to deal with a situation.  The answer is as simple as saying a prayer.  The answer might come right then, or later, but it will come.

Pres. Eyring said in his talk “Help Them Aim High” in priesthood session of October conference “God knows our gifts.  My challenge to you and to me is to pray to know the gifts we have been given, to know how to develop them, and to recognize the opportunities to serve others that God provides us.  But most of all, I pray that you will be inspired to help others discover their special gifts from God to serve.”  As parents, teachers and friends, this is important to remember.  We aren’t just shaping lives, we are helping children learn who they are and how they can make a difference.  How they can serve others using their talents and become more Christlike.

Third: “Parents can fully avail themselves of the Church’s support network, communicating with their children’s Primary teachers, youth leaders, and class and quorum presidencies.  By communicating with those who are called and set apart to work with their children, parents can provide essential understanding of a child’s special and specific needs.” Also, if you ask in passing what the lesson was about, you can talk about it at the dinner table!

Fourth: “Parents can share their testimonies often with their children, commit them to keep the commandments of God, and promise the blessings that our Heavenly Father promises His faithful children.”  Sometimes for family home evening, or on a Sunday night Rob and I will bear our testimonies to our children, then invite them to do the same.  It gives all of us good practice and invites the Spirit into our home.

Fifth: “We can organize our families based on clear, simple family rules and expectations, wholesome family traditions and rituals, and “family economics,” where children have household responsibilities and can earn allowances so that they can learn to budget, save, and pay tithing on the money they earn.”  We don’t have a set allowance or very many specific jobs for the kids to do on a regular basis.  (Well, Christopher has to empty the dishwasher 3 times/week.  This is great- I haven’t had to do it in 3 years!)  On Saturdays Rob and I will give the boys jobs-here’s your pile to put away!  Christopher loves raking leaves & shoveling snow.  Michael will soon be learning to empty the dishwasher- starting with the silverware, then when he gets that, the top shelf and so on.  If I get the plates down, he can set the table (I remember having to do this for 8 people growing up-that took a lot more time than just 5!)  One of the first ‘jobs’ in our family is helping with dinner.  We eat potatoes a lot at our house in many different forms.  15 month olds love putting things in buckets- so I have them put the pieces in the pot to boil after I cut them (just look out for little fingers when cutting!!  And, if you don’t work fast enough- the little ones will empty the pot so they can start over. ) I like working alone in the kitchen, so I’m trying to get better at letting the kids help.  Michael likes to dump or pour ingredients for me. (I try to be patient with the messes).  Christopher is getting better at peeling the potatoes.  Of course I can’t let them grate the cheese- they would eat more than they grate!  One memory I have is from the year of the apricot jam.  In our old apartment, when Christopher was 3, some friends gave us A LOT of apricots.  Christopher and I went to work on those apricots.  I showed him how to put his thumbs in and split open the fruit, then pull the pit out.  He was faster than I was at it!  We made so much jam we ate it for a year.  And if you knew how much jam we go through, you’d be very, very impressed.

               As Christmas is getting near, we want our kids to have a way to buy presents for each other. (from the dollar store of course.)  So we think of odd jobs they can do so they can earn quarters.  They are very excited about choosing, wrapping, and giving presents to each other.  And of course, they pay tithing on what they earn and they are excited to do those grown up things.  When Christopher was 2 years old we lived south of BYU campus.  He gave his tithing to the Bishop.  Then the next week he marched up to him and asked “Did you give my tithing to Heavenly Father” so matter of factly. 

President Joseph Fielding Smith taught: “It is the duty of parents to teach their children these saving principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ, so that they will know why they are to be baptized and that they may be impressed in their hearts with a desire to continue to keep the commandmesnts of God after they are baptized, that they may come back into his presence.”

I want to end with an example of how our words and actions make a difference.  This has stuck out to me & I have remembered it ever since I read on Rachel Rubow’s blog about Matthew’s science project for school.  He wanted to see if plants have feelings.

Here is an exert from her blog:
The experiment:  Purchase two plants that are the exact same.  Treat them exactly the same except for one thing.  Each day Matthew would take plant A up into his bedroom, close the door, and tell plant A five negative things.  You're ugly.  Pink is an ugly color.  etc.  Then he would bring plant A back and take plant B up to his room, close the door, and tell plant B five positive things.  You are such a pretty plant.  Pink is such a pretty color.  You are so strong.  Etc.

Day one.  Both plants look the same.

Day 2:  We're already seeing signs.  Plant A has some leaves that are starting to wilt.

Day three:  Plant A loses a leaf.

And so it goes....... plant A starts to lose leaves.  Several leaves a day and the pink color starts to fade. More leaves fall......... Plant B hasn't lost any leaves. So many leaves lost...........  the pink not as vibrant............  plant B thrives while sitting next to it plant A struggles. More leaves drop. And then the stems start to droop.  No longer able to hold themselves up after 14 days of being told negative things.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me".  False!  Be careful what and how you speak to others.  

P.S.  Experiment lasted 14 days.  The second the experiment ended we have been lavishing much love on plant A and we are happy to announce that plant A is thriving and happy under it's new love and attention.  Which brings us to another lesson.  Repentance and forgiveness.  May we all be as forgiving as our little plant A.  

To me this shows that everything we say will have an effect on someone else, whether positive or negative.  We need to be careful that what we say uplifts others, not bringing them down.  This is especially important for children.  They overhear stuff we say.  We need to make sure our words and actions are good examples for the children around us.  Heavenly Father has given us great trust in teaching His children, when we are still learning and growing in the gospel ourselves.  Remember the quote by Elder Cook that I mentioned earlier, that its our “sacred responsibility to teach your children to live moral, righteous lives and walk  uprightly before the Lord.”

(Then I bore my testimony)

It was exactly 20 minutes!  My longest talk ever!